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I became a Bitcoin man-whore

By Jeremy Wilson

The digital currency Bitcoin has been generating a lot of column inches in recent weeks, on the back of the virtual cash’s market value recently shooting past $1,000. This sudden increase has led to much head scratching in the media as learned tech journalists give their earnest thoughts on the cause of the boom in value.

Is Bitcoin the new interplanetary currency that will bring the millennia-old, state-controlled, economic system to its knees? Or is it the over-hyped product of unwashed basement dwellers?

As a lowly non-tech journalist myself, I try not to speculate too much on such important matters, but I think I might have stumbled upon the true reason for Bitcoin’s meteoric rise: porn.

There’s been a proliferation of websites gaining traction of late, where amateur porn wannabes can post explicit images in return for Bitcoin. The whole enterprise makes perfect sense: porn aficionados can satisfy their urges without leaving a credit card trail and hard up graduates can get themselves in on some Bitcoin action.

In fact, it seemed like too good an opportunity to miss out on. With the Christmas season approaching and being a little light on cash, I decided to try out stripping for Bitcoin. After doing some research, I came across a subreddit called /r/GuysGoneBitcoin, an elite group of males who post saucy pictures online in the hope of soliciting Bitcoin tips. There was only one thing to do: sign up and watch the digital currency roll in.

Not being the most tech savvy of people I decided to follow the /r/GuysGoneBitcoin sign-up recommendations to the letter. First up I needed something called a Bitcoin wallet. I paid a visit to blockchain.info, clicked “Start A New Wallet”, entered a password and with that, had entrusted a random website with the safekeeping of my future Bitcoin fortune.
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Next I needed to make paying me easy for the online punters. I paid a visit to payb.tc a Bitcoin address shortener and before I knew it, I had nabbed the hot domain payc.tc/HornyHack – my new hotline for those wishing to rain cash on me.

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And with that I was done, it was time to make my first post:

Hot and horny writer looking to make some extra cash, will strip for Bitcoin tips

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I waited a couple of hours, but nothing. Not a single fraction of a Bitcoin was funnelled my way.

Clearly the first picture wasn’t tantalising enough, I needed to try again – if my next post didn’t work, nothing else would.

Sexy guy needs cash. Will make a custom dirty video for all Bitcoin tippers!

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After a sleepless night glued to my computer, my Bitcoin wallet is still bare. Maybe this Bitcoin thing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

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