REPORT

What do cam porn performers do for Christmas?

By James Cook

Live webcam sex sites are depressing enough on any day of the year. Hundreds of men, women and couples sit bored, staring into their computer’s cameras, waiting for “tips” to roll in. But surely at Christmas they give themselves some time off?

The Kernel decided to visit Chaturbate, one of the most popular webcam sites, to see what it was like to be a porn performer on Christmas Day.

This lady spent twenty minutes opening presents with one hand and fondling her breasts with the other. Because what's more Christmassy than kneeling on the floor in a see-through top with no bra? Nothing.

This lady spent twenty minutes opening presents with one hand and fondling her breasts with the other. Because what’s more Christmassy than kneeling on the floor in a see-through top with no bra? 

Content after a large Christmas lunch, this lady relaxed with a cigarette in her Santa outfit. The snowflake decorations in the background really add to the festive mood.

Content after a large Christmas lunch, this lady relaxed with a cigarette in her Santa outfit. The snowflake decorations in the background add to the festive mood. That in the background is either a can of fake snow or a DIY dildo

Thrusting, a Christmas tree, a Canadian flag decorated with tinsel. Perfection. According to the title of this erotic performer's room, he's even collecting sex tokens for charity.

Thrusting, a Christmas tree, a Canadian flag decorated with tinsel. Perfection. According to the title of this erotic performer’s room, he’s even collecting sex tokens for charity

If you're a poor Eastern European webcam sex performer, the only Christmas cheer you can summon is a Santa hat tactically displayed on your sofa to remind your audience that you're not a GIF that's been looping for 4 years.

If you’re a poor Eastern European webcam sex performer, the only Christmas cheer you can summon is a Santa hat tactically displayed on your sofa to remind your audience that you’re not a GIF that’s been looping for 4 years

This young man decided to combine preparing Christmas dinner with masturbating for money. Every so often he would wander over to his laptop, masturbate, then return to preparing the turkey. Hot. Also: unhygienic.

This young man decided to combine preparing Christmas dinner with masturbating for money. Every so often he would wander over to his laptop, masturbate, then return to preparing the turkey. Hot. But also unhygienic

Not everyone on the internet is young, or remotely attractive. This lady vigorously masturbated in front of the Christmas tree for hours.

Not everyone on the internet is young, or remotely attractive. This mature lady vigorously masturbated in front of the Christmas tree for hours for our reporter

It's just like the nativity scene: an angelic woman, a Christmas tree, skimpy underwear and a load of dildos. Festive.

A modern take on the traditional nativity scene: an pseudo-virginal woman, a tree, skimpy underwear… and a load of dildos. Festive!

This angry man dressed as Santa and ranted about Jesus for a good ten minutes. He barely even touched himself. Bad Santa.

This angry man dressed as Santa and ranted about Jesus for a good ten minutes. He barely even touched himself. #BadSanta

Christmas only comes once a year, unlike this webcam performer who seemed to come repeatedly for a solid hour.

Christmas only comes once a year, unlike this webcam performer who seemed to come repeatedly for a solid hour

I'm not sure whether this was a Christmas outfit or not.

I’m not sure whether this was a Christmas outfit or not, but I enjoyed this woman’s Yuletide performances

A young man vigorously masturbates on Christmas morning for money on the internet.

A young man vigorously masturbates on Christmas morning for money on the internet

Christmas can probably be lonely for cross-dressers. Thankfully, this lady found a friend in the collective sweaty-palmed internet horde. It's practically Dickensian.

Christmas can probably be lonely for cross-dressers. Thankfully, this lady found a friend in the collective sweaty-palmed internet horde. It’s practically Dickensian

Perhaps the most heartwarming scene of all. A young couple in bed on Christmas morning, outfitted in novelty festive fare, with Christmas music playing in the background and a flashing tree to boot. She lazily pleasured him until a German man gave them $50 for anal sex.

Perhaps the most heartwarming scene of all. A young couple in bed on Christmas morning, outfitted in novelty festive fare, with Christmas music playing in the background and a flashing tree to boot. She lazily pleasured him until a German man gave them $50 for anal sex