• You didn't think it was going
    to be that easy, did you?
  • Orange before it was cool
  • All I'm offering
    is the truth
  • I need your clothes, your
    boots and your motorcycle
  • Suddenly it's not decades
    away - it's right now
  • “Life,” said Marvin dolefully, “loathe
    it or ignore it, you can’t like it.”
  • Madness, and then illumination
  • Resistance is futile
  • Let the Hunger Games begin
  • I am your father
  • Aren’t you a little short
    for a stormtrooper?
  • Into the garbage chute, flyboy!
  • I’ve got a very bad
    feeling about this
  • I find your lack of faith disturbing
  • Watch your future’s end
  • Clearly, fame isn’t everything,
    is it, Mr. Potter?
  • Ask why.
  • Fair and balanced
  • Here it is, your
    moment of Zen
  • Tell me what you don't
    like about yourself
  • You won't like us
    when we're angry
  • You're fired
  • Where's the beef?
  • More than just
    a princess
  • We've got to risk implosion
  • A fire-eater must eat fire
  • I want to see gamma rays!
  • Hey doll, is this guy
    boring you?
  • We need not to
    be let alone
  • Yada, yada, yada

Windows Phone owners get almost twice the STDs

A survey commissioned by The Kernel has revealed that Windows Phone users report almost twice as many sexually-transmitted infections as users of any other mobile platform, with iPhone users reporting the fewest STDs.

Sex From Window

  • Half of all Windows Phone users have had an STD in the last year
  • Android users a distant second to Windows Phone
  • Windows Phone users had nearly twice as many infections as others
  • iPhone users have significantly more sex but report fewer STDs

A survey commissioned by The Kernel has found that users of Windows Phone handsets report dramatically higher incidences of sexually transmitted disease than users of other mobile platforms, adding a fresh dimension to jokes about Windows as a platform plagued by viruses.

Windows Phone users report almost twice the number of STDs that users of other platforms do.

The survey revealed that young urban iPhone, Android and “other” (including BlackBerry) users had between 0.44 and 0.49 STDs in the previous year, whereas Windows Phone users had 0.78 STDs in the 12 months prior to the survey.

Infections by smart phone platform

Average infections by smart phone platform

Android users reported 0.49 STDs in the previous twelve months, while iPhone users reported the fewest: 0.44 STDs. Other platforms including BlackBerry reported 0.46 average STDs per user.

iPhone users admitted to the fewest infections, despite the widely-reported fact that they get more sex. Either iPhone users practise safer sex more regularly, or they are more reluctant to admit to infections.

The results are particularly surprising given how much readier iPhone users were to share their sexual histories: nearly three times as many iPhone users completed the survey, which does not concord with mobile platform market share statistics.

Respondents by phone type

Respondents by phone type

Setting aside the number of infections and asking merely whether the user had experienced an STD at all in the previous 12 months yielded similar results.

0.29 per cent of iPhone users reported at least one STD, including so-called non-specific urinary tract infections, versus 0.51 per cent of Windows Phone users.

iPhone users thus have the lowest chance of having contracted any sort of infection in the previous year.

0.31 per cent of Android users reported one or more STDs in the previous year. The figure for other platforms was 0.38 per cent.

Infections reported by smart phone platform

Infections reported by smart phone platform

The survey asked people about their chosen handset and their sexual history. 285 respondents were 18-25, single, college-educated, described themselves as “tech-savvy” and lived in or near a major city at the time of questioning.


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