• You didn't think it was going
    to be that easy, did you?
  • Orange before it was cool
  • All I'm offering
    is the truth
  • I need your clothes, your
    boots and your motorcycle
  • Suddenly it's not decades
    away - it's right now
  • “Life,” said Marvin dolefully, “loathe
    it or ignore it, you can’t like it.”
  • Madness, and then illumination
  • Resistance is futile
  • Let the Hunger Games begin
  • I am your father
  • Aren’t you a little short
    for a stormtrooper?
  • Into the garbage chute, flyboy!
  • I’ve got a very bad
    feeling about this
  • I find your lack of faith disturbing
  • Watch your future’s end
  • Clearly, fame isn’t everything,
    is it, Mr. Potter?
  • Ask why.
  • Fair and balanced
  • Here it is, your
    moment of Zen
  • Tell me what you don't
    like about yourself
  • You won't like us
    when we're angry
  • You're fired
  • Where's the beef?
  • More than just
    a princess
  • We've got to risk implosion
  • A fire-eater must eat fire
  • I want to see gamma rays!
  • Hey doll, is this guy
    boring you?
  • We need not to
    be let alone
  • Yada, yada, yada

Please help, video game mods are out of control

We’ve reached a new low for video game mods as fantasy adventure game Skyrim becomes a giant hellish dance party. But be warned: things are about to get much worse.

Screen Shot 2014-01-21 at 11.08.50

There are plenty of ways to illustrate the strange world of video game mods. We could show you a chart with exactly how many downloads they get (millions) or we could post a photograph of a computer that has overheated thanks to a mod that lets hundreds of soldiers fight it out on screen. But instead, the video embedded below demonstrates just how strange things have gotten.

Now in case you didn’t quite get that, what you saw was a heavily-modified version of fantasy adventuring dragon-slaying game, Skyrim. It usually looks like this:


The fantasy adventure game is now a giant dance party. Tommy Wiseau, the director of cult movie The Room, is a half-naked dolphin horse, a ridable character. An army of Thomas The Tanks appears in the sky, before unleashing the apocalypse on the burly dance party below. Spiderman spiders are batted away with a lightsaber. This isn’t Skyrim anymore.

Skyrim has one of the world’s most active communities of video game modders. By adding new parts to the game or editing existing files, they’re able to use the finished product as a canvas for their own creations.

Not every Skyrim mod introduces wacky ridable dolphin people, some are breathtaking in their scope and lore-friendly attention to detail.

Skywind is an attempt to recreate Morrowind, a previous game by the creators of Skyrim, into this new, high-definition world. With hundreds of volunteers working to create new weapons, character models, music and lines of dialogue, it’s an incredibly ambitious project. However, the project is in dire need of women to record their voices for the game’s female characters. You can sign up here if you’re interested.

The most popular Skyrim mods can become immensely popular, with the top files on modding community Nexus Mods attracting millions of downloads.

Screen Shot 2014-01-21 at 10.34.54

“Adult” mods are popular too, with nude characters and sexy outfits a particular draw. The Push-up sexy bikinis mod is popular with Skyrim modders, with tens of thousands of downloads.

Screen Shot 2014-01-21 at 10.40.26

Another notorious game mod is “No Opposite Sex” – which only allows players to marry characters with the same gender as them.

* * *

So why this cry for help? Surely a group of mischievous video game fans toying with a fantasy adventuring game is no cause for distress.

The world of modding is about to change forever. A user named “sheson” has discovered a way to force Skyrim to allow modders to do pretty much whatever they want in the game. Instead of being limited by the game’s draw distance and memory limits, modders can now push the game far further, dependent only on the power of their computers.

The bizarre video at the top of the article strains Skyrim to its limits, the hundreds of Spiderman spiders on screen most likely come close to what the game is currently capable of. But with the new development in modding, the number of burly, half-naked dancing men can be far higher. That’s right, even more Tommy Wiseau dolphin horse people. Skyrim is about to get a whole lot crazier.


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