Ask Daphne, #1: polyamory

By Aunt Daphne on August 11th, 2013

Dear Daphne,
I’ve got a friend on Facebook who is otherwise a perfectly nice guy, but he’s the sort of person who shares videos about Illuminati influences on rap music and he keeps posting stuff about how tap water is being used by the Government to brainwash us. How do I gently tell him that everything he believes in is ridiculous?
— Anon., via email

Outsource the heavy lifting on this one. Every time he posts a crackpot conspiracy theory, head over to Snopes. More likely than not, those eagle-eyed fact checkers will have comprehensively debunked whatever snake oil your friend is selling. Post the link to Snopes as a comment on his Facebook. He’ll get the message eventually – which is, believe what you want in private, you nutter, but stop clogging up my feed with your feverish nonsense.

Dear Daphne,
How many tweets am I allowed to favourite of a co-worker without crossing the line into stalking? Asking for a friend.

— Ezra Butler, via email

Oh, pumpkin. If you have to ask, I’m guessing that ship has sailed?

Dear Daphne,
I’m dating two men in two different cities. They don’t know about each other, but they are both friends with me on Facebook. One of them recently proved his affection to me (which I’ve been longing for) by posting an adorable picture of the two of us together. I really want to tag myself in that picture, so that my friends can see what a hot guy I am dating in St. Petersburg, but I am afraid that my other love, in Nizhniy Novgorod, will see it. I’ve checked all the privacy options. There is no way I can  hide this one picture from him. What should I do?
— Anon., via email

You dirty girl! Got yourself into a right pickle with your harlotry, haven’t you? There’s a pretty simple solution to this one, poppet: re-upload the photo. When you do, you can set privacy settings yourself to include – and exclude – whoever you want. But, before you do, you might want to consider your life choices a bit more carefully, you cheeky little sexpot. Chances are, if you need to indulge in this kind of chicanery, that sooner or later one of these guys is going to find out – and get hurt.