What’s wrong with penis beakers?

By Milo Yiannopoulos on October 9th, 2013

Remarkable the things the internet throws up. Today’s bundle of joy is a comment thread on Mumsnet, that cesspit of suburban filth. “Do you dunk your penis?” the poster asks. “We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.”

“Apparently [her italics] our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.”

Well! Variety’s the spice of life and all that. Needless to say, the thread has descended into the sort of schoolyard bullying that’s the hallmark of debate in the internet era. Reluctant as I am to repeat some of these nastier comments, here they are.

How often do you wash the beaker? Do you put it in the dishwasher?


Do you sprinkle your mattress with bicarb to absorb the smells, too?


Next time he goes down the pub and his mates all cover their pint glasses with beer mats, you’ll know why.

Is it any wonder that people describe forums and social media as the loneliest places of all?