Lord Sugar, the man formerly known as Suralan, is a television personality and former businessman previously known as a manufacturer of video phones. These days, he’s a semi-pro Twitter troll and, more generally, a cringeworthy and cheap British version of Donald Trump.
When he’s not promoting rubbish gadgets, live-tweeting football matches with a five-minute delay, posting racist photographs or selling skincare products, Sugar enjoys nothing more than tweeting swear words at strangers on the internet.
After observing this bizarre phenomenon for more than a year, The Kernel decided to interview some of the aggrieved Twitter users who have felt the wrath of Alan Sugar.
First off, we talked to Big Rick, 39, a cable television installer from London. Lord Sugar called Big Rick a prick in August.
@BigRickH shut up pr…
— Lord Sugar (@Lord_Sugar) August 31, 2013
Especially brilliant is Lord Sugar’s refusal to actually spell out the word “prick”. This, remember, is a Lord who claims to be worth more than $1 billion and was once an advisor to former prime minister Gordon Brown. We asked Rick whether Sugar’s behaviour was appropriate for a Peer.
“I’ve been a big fan of his for years,” Rick told The Kernel, “But for no reason he abused me. Daft wanker. When the abuse came through, I did think he should grow up a bit. He’s supposed to be a big businessman, but stooped to an all-time low.
“Someone should take him down a peg and remind him that his inventions are really shit.”
The complaining idiot
When challenged on regular tweets that seemed to be promoting a television gadget, Lord Sugar lashed out at Liaqat Khan, a 31-year-old software tester from Sheffield. The Kernel asked Khan how he felt about this weird outburst from a sitting member of the House of Lords.
@Liaqat_Khan shut up you idiot
— Lord Sugar (@Lord_Sugar) December 23, 2012
“I was taken by surprise. I was shocked. I think he does that to keep up his ‘tough boss’ image. I also think he likes to show people he’s not to be messed with. It’s funny he spends time insulting people, as he is supposed to be a busy person running his business empire.”
The anti-bullying idiot
Chris Cooke, 29, a bank adviser from Reading, was blocked by Lord Sugar after asking the peer whether calling Daily Mail journalist Jan Moir a “bitter cow” and posting her contact information on the internet was bullying.
@Flatus74 shut up idiot
— Lord Sugar (@Lord_Sugar) May 3, 2013
Chris openly discussed his reaction to receiving a “shut up idiot” tweet from one of Britain’s leading entrepreneurs:
“I thought it was quite funny, but immature; how someone so high profile could be so childish. I can imagine there’s a few people he’s insulted over the years!
“His Twitter feed seems to just be about plugging gadgets that he’s been paid to promote anyway.”
Sugar went as far as to block Chris for his temerity. “I was frustrated at first that he blocked me because I would prefer to have a grown-up conversation with him.”
The 19-year-old idiot
For Lord Sugar, the whole internet’s fair game: young and old alike are subjected to his abusive tirades. Dylan Elsworth, 19, a trainee accountant from Cumbria, also took offence to Sugar’s “bitter cow” tweets. When Dylan asked Lord Sugar if his tweet was effectively bullying, he received a classic Lord Sugar reply.
@dylanelsworth14 shut up you idiot
— Lord Sugar (@Lord_Sugar) May 3, 2013
Remembering the tweet still evokes strong emotions. “He’s a sad, boring old man,” Dylan told The Kernel this week.
“I found it funny and ironic because he proved what I had tweeted to him about him being a bully and using his position to get people to do what he wanted them to.”
For small business owners looking to enter the world of social media, use @Lord_Sugar as your guide. Basically, don’t do anything that he does. Or, do tweet about your skincare products all the time, and deploy classic Lord Sugar responses to anyone who complains.
@Danharkness listen pr… if it wasn’t for me there would be no WHL today so shut you mouth you stupid idiot
— Lord Sugar (@Lord_Sugar) October 30, 2013