REPORT

What the cool kids on the net are saying

By Nimrod Kamer

NYE’s slag fest is just around the corner, as well as the holiday season and Kwanzaa 2013 (begins on Thursday, December 26). Perfect time to refresh your casual verbiage with new idiosyncratic-idioms and dictions, that will impress your family and sub m8s. One can resist anything except temptation.

YOLO fever

Disease. Worse than yellow fever, harder to cure.

#YOSO

Tinder concept. You Only Swipe Once. Swiping left may lose you a certain ugly male-bitch forever. So just swipe right all the time. Tinder safety.

OnCon

Online Content. Tip sent by vocalist @fredmacpherson (17,439 followers, unverified).

WUBU2 / WUBU4

What’ve u been up 2? (question). Spoken language; Woobootoo. Then WUBU4 stands for What’ve u been up 4? (question) = What’s the reason you stayed up so long?.

Slagever

British version of @slutever, the US Vogue columnist. (@)slagever the person doesn’t yet exist, but since Guardian and @Vice_Is_Hip contributor Sophie Heawood suggested, everyone in the UK should say slag instead of slut, so there’s a slot open.

 

Alforsco

Having your foreskin out in the open. Al fresco.

Dyebrowse

Coloring your eye, dyeing your browse. Dyebrowser; for browser cache.

Débucunt

A débutaunt who’s also a hoe.

 

Subretweet

If someone mentions your name without mentioning it properly with an @, its a subtweet. So to retaliate you should manually RT them without mentioning their @. £ pro quo.

Unrevine

Undo a revine (revine is Vine’s version of a retweet). So sometime one is in need to undo it, hence unrevine. More on unrevining.

Selfieflage

Persiflage is ‘a frivolous manner of discussing a subject’. Selfieflage is a frivolous manner of taking a selfie.

Gorgeois

Suppose you’re gorgeous but also bourgeois. Tip sent by R&B recording artist @Joe_Stone_.

WYABz

Where’re u at babz?

Selfizza

Pizza selfies. Huge on sunday nights.

 

Emojination

Using one’s imagination whilst dealing with emojis.
Captureuu

Ineffable

A person that one cannot eff, full stop. In the past ineffable meant stuff that aren’t expressible in words, but that’s just boring. Now ineffability is just major impotency.

Defudiate

Sarah Palin stopped making new wordings since refudiate (refuse + repudiate). I refuse to be pudiated. Defudiate is to refudiate hat defollow is to unfollow. Ipso effto.

#QUICHE

I don’t want to brag but most of my friends are quiche. This is just the opposite of ineffable, practically.

Ja’mie’s explanation –